If you won’t sing in the car with me when we drive, we can’t be friends
my wallet needs to be as thick as my thighs
Even my chiropractor asked me if I was okay…bruhhh
My heads throbbing and my jaw hurts so bad. I literally put my body through some major shit this summer. And my eyes are hella puffy from crying last night, my stomach feels empty but I don’t want to eat anything. And I fucking hate being left alone to think. How weird… This time last year I was putting my body through the same thing. This time last year I had to sit in my house for a week without talking to anyone. I had never in my life ever felt so stuck. And it’s happening all over again. I’m just completely drained of everything. I feel like a shit person for letting you see me drugged out. And for letting you see my eyes shake in my head and telling you I loved the way it felt. And for going back for another dose because I can’t cope with shitty comedowns. I hated myself for going back for more I really did. And I saw it in your face that day, you looked at me and shook your head and looked away. Trust me, I’ve been feeling that way about myself for a while now. I feel so lame because I still think about the fucked up things I was doing last summer and with someone that didn’t care about me. But now I’m letting the person I care about see me hurt myself. And I even tried to bring you along on the ride. You know what, it was fun the first time, even the second and third time it was fun. But you know what? I’ve taken ecstasy around 30ish times this year and it’s not fun anymore. It’s scary. The whole time I’m just wondering how far I can push my body, and what else can I mix with these pills to get me feeling even better. My friends and I used to roll and have deep talks about life, religion and relationships and I would learn so much from all of that. But now we try and get floored. And as much as I hate being left alone to think, you’re totally right. It’s so sad to see what I’m doing to myself. And I wouldn’t have realized it if you never said anything last night. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to cuddle up next to you so bad rn and tell you I’m sorry. That’s all I want rn. I want you to come over and take a nap with me and we can talk about everything when we wake up. I hate that I’m by myself right now and you’re the only person I want to see. And it makes me so sad that you don’t want to talk to me for a while. I’m scared you’re going to leave me like this I really hope you don’t.
FEELING LIKE YOU ANNOY THE ONLY PERSON YOU WANT TO TALK TO SUCKS